Funerals

Funerals.  I've never really taken time to really think about them before.  With my grandma's recent passing, and all of the funeral stuff going on, I was forced to think more about the whole process.

It has become such a commercialized, money-making, quote on quote cultural thing.  You just have a visitation, and you look at the body, and you talk with all of the people who knew the deceased, and you have a fancy coffin, and you have a nice funeral service, and you eat a meal afterward, and you have a big procession to the cemetery, and you have a little burial service.  And at each place people pray, and quote Bible verses, and say nice things about the person who died.

Why?

Why do we do all of these things?

Why do we "have" to do them? 

Our society has turned something that happens every day into a big production.  People make their entire living working in funeral homes and helping families swim through the ocean of things that they 'have' to do because a loved one has died.  People just don't question it anymore.  This is how our society deals with death.  It's just 'what you do'.  You stand in line where you're supposed to and participate in everything, but in the end does it matter?  Will the deceased be more honored by that than if you had a simple burial at the cemetery and skipped the rest? The fact of the matter is that they're gone.  Everything you do after they're gone is just to help yourself cope and grieve.  Maybe it makes you feel better to do these things, and if that justifies all of the time and money spent to do it, go ahead.  For most people, I just don't think they cope and grieve the best going through all of the rigamaroll.  You do it all because you're 'supposed to', but you're just exhausted at the end of the day from putting up a front, and holding back emotions, and talking to tons of people you don't really know that well. And you're really relieved when it's all over and you can try to get back to 'normal' life.

Personally, I'd rather be alone and with my husband.  Maybe have some close friends and my family around so I could be able to really grieve.  I don't want to spend hours staring at the dead person's body.  In fact, I don't really want to see it at all.  It's not them.  It never looks like them.  It's just their empty body.  It's dust.

For a lot of people, it's a new thought.  Nobody really likes to think about death, and dying and the fact that they themselves will someday die.  I don't know yet exactly what I want to happen when I die, or what I would want to do if my husband or one of my children died, but the thought process has to start somewhere.  A lot of these thoughts are incomplete.  Many of them I haven't completely finished processing yet, but I hope to.  Stay tuned.

Grandma Kleven

My Grandma Kleven passed away this past Monday.  Her health had been failing over the past several years, and we all expected her time was coming, but the way she hung in there and kept fighting made it seem like she would live forever.  Throughout the past week of funeral preparations and then the visitation/funeral/burial, I did a lot of reflecting.

I am very sad that my grandmother is no longer here with us, but I am so happy for her - she's with Jesus!  To truly grieve her leaving was somewhat difficult for me for three reasons:
     *She was saved, and therefore going to heaven.
     *She was 95 years old and lived a very full life.
     *Her mind and body were failing at the end.
I'm not saying I don't miss her, because it's definitely strange to have her gone, but I don't see this being a long grieving process for me.  It was her time to go, and God saw fit to take her when and how He did.

Another thing that really stands out to me about my Grandma (and Grandpa) Kleven is the legacy they have left behind.  Three sons (two with spouses), nine grandchildren (five with spouses), and five great-grandchildren all who have professed faith in Jesus Christ.  (Well, those who are old enough and able to.)  What an amazing thing!  I feel so blessed to be a part of this family.  I know that it's not something you see every day. 

This gives me encouragement as a mother staying home with my child(ren), that teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord is not in vain.  If "all" I do in my life is raise up all of our children to follow after and serve the Lord, I will have done an amazing thing!  Some days I feel like I'm doing less than others because I'm not on the street corner preaching the gospel.  It is good for me to realize that it is no small thing to be a mother.  It is no small thing to 'train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old, he will not depart from it.'  God has called me to be a wife and a mother, and I intend to do them with all that I have and to the best of my ability. 

Thank you Grandma Kleven for your example and for helping me to see just how important the work is that I am doing.

Teach Me Lord to Wait

Being now 10 days past my "due date" it can become at times difficult to wait patiently for this baby to come.  This morning I was seeking some comfort from God's word about waiting, and found some verses that really encouraged me to keep waiting.

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psalm 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Lamentations 3:25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

Lamentations 3:26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Daniel 12:12a Blessed is he that waiteth.

Micah 7:7 Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.

Habakkuk 2:3 Though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Zephaniah 3:8 Therefore wait ye upon me, saith the LORD.

Romans 8:25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

I know that this baby WILL come, and that I need to patiently wait upon the Lord until that day comes.  In the meantime, I want to enjoy my one-on-one time with Evelyn and doing things around the house that will have to be put off once the baby is born.

Ready for Baby

Yesterday I shaved my legs and painted my toe nails.
I'm now ready for the baby to come....

Yesterday I also washed all the floors in the house and washed the rugs.
I'm now ready for the baby to come...

Today I picked up a cute little newborn dress if it's a girl.
I'm now ready for the baby to come...

Little annoying non-painful contractions keep interrupting my days.
I'm now ready for the baby to come...

Every time the wee one decides to squirm around, I get a butt and feet jabbed into my ribs and a head pushed on my bladder.
I'm now ready for the baby to come...

For goodness sake, today's my due date.
I'm now ready for the baby to come...

Any time now squirt - I'm ready for you!

Washing Dishes Sideways

Entering into the final weeks of pregnancy, I am realizing once again how inconvenient it is to complete basic household chores with a baby belly in the way.  Just the simple act of picking up the house at the end of the day, or putting a pair of shoes away takes extra effort. 

The place I notice it the most is when I'm washing dishes.  In the early stages, my belly was small enough that I could still lean against the counter while I washed.  Now-a-days, I have to turn my body sideways so that my belly doesn't hit the counter.  If I were an inch or two taller, it wouldn't be a problem, but the bottom of my belly hits the pointy corner of the counter, which is quite uncomfortable.

I know that once the baby's born, it'll feel strange to wash the dishes and be able to lean all the way up to the counter, but until then I guess I'll just have to wash them sideways.